I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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