I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
