I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
