R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
