shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
