Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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