Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize