So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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