I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm just crazy horny about you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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