last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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