My sheets look like a crime scene.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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