im six kinds of drunk right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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