White coat. Heels.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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