you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
