Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
