It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize