he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
