My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
