My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
