Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
