Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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