i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
