So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
