she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
