i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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