"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
