I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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