but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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