woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
