ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
how do flat chested girls get laid?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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