Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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