By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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