At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
