I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
