dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
