So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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