I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
