batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
birth control should be required to get into college
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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