They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
