What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
