i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
