This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
