There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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