Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
