I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
