She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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