dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
