Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
