Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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