Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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