He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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