We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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