This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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