and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
