it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
