On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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