My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
