Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
