mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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