in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
