soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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