I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
