so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
this hospital has no fireball
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
